acting out

i'm back, bitches. i've had this stretch of days where i have been nervous and tense and worried. so i act out and become kind of a selfish cunt. in the spirit of honesty, i'll try to lay it out for you in a concise manner. due to a "banking error" on my part, i have been unable to pay off a variety of debts that i owe to idividuals and utility companies alike. of course, i managed to pay half my tuition for the acting class i started last night (selfish cunt!). I'm trying not to get too panicky and just take one day at a time. after all, i still have a place to live, and a job, and those suckers at gas and electric haven't turned either one off yet. however, if suddenly my cell phone isn't in service just wait a week or so and in the meantime call me at work. life is too short to get all jacked up about this shit. I've been reading a book by stella adler called "the art of acting". she instructed such actors as brando and dustin hoffman. In the first chapter of her book she says, "any faults you have must be taken care of by yourself. i'm not going to go home and nurse you, and nobody else will. you have to know your faults and correct them". well shit, stella. I take her with a grain of salt, because if you continue to read her words you realize she's pretty haughty. brilliant, but haughty. what's important here is that she has solidified what i've had to come to terms with over the last year. since i graduated from college, i've been throwing a tantrum, waiting for someone to take care of my life for me. it's always been about satisfying my my own impulses because, surely, someone will come along and take care of the other mundane shit for me. i've recoiled from everything that would make me an adult because it's so boring and i fucking hate BORING MONOTONY. suddenly stella tells me to fix my shit and i get it. so, i have to fix myself. sacrifice what i believe is fun and look for smaller things to entertain me. or maybe learn how to not be entertained and just "be". so i'm in debt and overweight and i need to fix that. trust me, this is not an invitation to my pitty party. you are only invited to my bitchy balls and my happy hooplahs. this is just me unfolding for all the intarweb to see. i've got fixing to do but this time i'm not going to cry about it and i'm going to move forward. and fucking slowly at that because i just can't do it all at once. now if anyone knows a way i can hustle some extra cash, let me know. ugh. i'm done now. as a transition, here's a rabbit with a pancake on its head:


yeah, so yesterday i started what i think is going to be a totally kick ass acting class! it's taught by a guy named kevin mcclatchy. he's like, a real actor and stuff. if you want to see his resume, check out his webpage under my theater links. first, he's hot. i'm usually not into older guys but he's way cute. second, i really enjoy him as a teacher. he doesn't give us any bullshit about being a tree or anything. he starts us with the basics like paying attention to details, conveying emotion with out words, being observant and being a good listener. i got to do an exercise with this other guy named john (who i can totally tell is going to work his ass off in class and be awesome) where he could only communicate with me by saying "5551212". in the first scenario he was telling me he won the lottery. it was my job to respond to the emotion he was giving me. this worked in the lottery set up because he started this nervous laughter thing and then i started to laugh and we both laughing about being rich! weeeee! in the next scenario he had to tell me in number-speak that our dad died. this one didn't go as well because i was really stuck on creating a scene rather than truly reacting to what he was doing. i think it's because i've watched so much goddamn improv (ahhh! funny improv is the shit!). it was just so much fun and i had to stop myself from smiling so that i wouldn't look like a goofball. i feel like i've been waiting for someone to talk about acting like this since high school. man, i really wish that i would've taken theater in college, but i think i'm much more capable at 29 than i was at 18 or 22. i can't wait until next week and i absolutely dread missing the class i'll have to miss in september. also, i had headshots done for real cheap by a lady named marie godwin. i'll post her link... somewhere. can't decide on a category yet. if you need pictures and you're on a budget, she's your gal!

hot mess of the week

some of my friends know of my borderline drag queen fetish. the hot mess in the video below is Verka Serduchka, the hottest piece of trash to come out the ukraine in... ever. in may, Verka placed second in the 2007 eurovision song contest. basically, all contries that are members of the EBU (european braodcasting union) are elligible to send one contestant with an original, never before released song. not many people know that abba won the eurovision song contest in 1974 with "waterloo". that was last good thing to come out of eurovision... UNTIL NOW. verka is my jesus and i would love to live in her foil covered world. take me home with you verka! i don't need to learn the language, they all just mumble a bunch anyway!!! *siiiiiggghhhhh* i love euro-trash and the way it raises the quality of my life.



in contrast, below you can see dj bobo with "vampires are alive", switzerland's entry into 2007's eurovision song contest. either way, eurovision is fun! the songs are either catchy and absurd, or in bobo's case, it makes us feel a little better about american music. seriously, your name is dj bobo? for reals? buffy wouldn't even dig this shit. i've farted better pop tunes out of my ass.

watch what you eat!

this happened to me once, but it was a much nicer conversation...

speaking of hipsters...

this is from ronnie john's half hour, a sketch comedy show from australia. look for their other stuff, it's hilarious.

you know what she did???

get down with the clampdown

now THAT was a busy busy weekend, bitches. for those of you paying attention, i haven't blogged in a couple of days. "hey, you fucked up! 30 blogs in thirty days? 30 nothing in thirty days!" well, i only said 30 blogs, and not specifically one each day. i'm still in the race. i'm a winner.*

friday was a waste only because by the end of the day i was completely knackered. i had to work for twelve hours that day and was in no way ready to go to the party i was obligated to attend. the social butterfly was having an a cranky day.

come saturday, it was time the rocky horror show auditions. i was there to greet all those auditioning and to make they filled out their paperwork properly. i wasn't able to watch the auditions but it looks like we'll have a pretty good cast. after our costume/hair/make-up meeting sunday afternoon, i'm sure that the cast will atleast look FABULOUS! we have to use quite a few wigs since we only have one hair guy. make-up for the phantoms will be dark with a small burst of color, much like their costumes. i'm most excited about how columbia and and magenta are going to look (washed-up chorus girl! amy winehouse!) and most perplexed about what we are going to with riff raff. poor rocky doesn't get a big update on his look, but he's there to look pretty. that being said our rocky will do just fine! as far as make-up is concerned the night of the show, i'll be incharge of the two drag looks (frank and a drag phantom). otherwise i'll be creating a make-up team out of the other actors.

anyway, after making an appearance at the house of mary-michael, ashley and jay (which was totally worth it just because i touched a man who touched kathy griffin! omg!!!) i left to go pick up my dear friend leah. today she turns twenty-pvanoal;sahg;l years old, so to celebrate we went to one our favorite parties in the city: the CLAMPDOWN at the ravari room next to hounddog's. i had forgotten what fun it was! it's great to ditch the regular dance clubs and go to a rock n' roll dance party. actually, it was good to be in a straight club. i'd elaborate but that is for another post on another day. we had great time because that night contain alot of things that make a club fun. it's great to run into old friends there. you dance together, you laugh, do a shot, but it doesn't require any deep conversation. every good party needs the entertaining dumb guys. those are the people the black eyed peas were talking about when they said, "let's get retarded". one guy in particular was funny because i actually heard him hit on girls with the lines, "what's your major?" and "do you like sports?". i guess he didn't want to leave the guys out, so they all got a good ole' "you're the best, man!" i was doing the pogo to the hives and thinking, "seriously?!?" oh, and the dancing was fun! dancing to rock allows a person to freak out and feel the beat in a different way. the action of bumping into other humans to the beat creates little bursts of energy to to feed off of. the perfect crunchy guitar riffs promote insanity. watching cute hipster boys dance on table tops with their shirts off is inspiring. the next clampdown is september 8th and i hope to have more people come with me.

sunday night was the official bye-bye birdie cast party. not a lot of people were there, but those who were made it a crazy evening. i've been doing shows with some of these people for 8 months now, and we're becoming a bit more, well... loose around each other. we drink and sing and grope. it's great.

now i'm beat. i'll go home and collapse as soon as i can get out of this damn tv station.

*oh lisa, how i know you! i got your comment just as i was finishing that paragraph!

you know what?

i miss aci-, er shroo-, well.... i miss the pretty colors

I totally get it now

i've always listened to music all the time, ever since i was a kid. this has turned my brain into a sort of juke box. The most inappropriate songs pop into my head and stay there for ages! once i even had a sound effect from a cartoon playing in my head every couple of minutes. does this make me sound crazy? just ignore it. anyway, when i woke up this morning, the first thing i thought of when i sat up in bed was just one phrase from a song:

"loa-thing! un-a-dul-terated loathing!"

i'm thinkin', wtf? i don't even care about wicked. yeah, i bought the soundtrack years after wicked took its place on the musical theater landscape. it just didn't move me when i first listened to it. ahh, but music is sneaky, no? i went through my entire morning routine hearing the same tune. put on my pants: loathing! brush my hair: unadulterated loathing! as soon as i got to work i put on the wicked soundtrack and before i new it i was listening to "defying gravity" and repeat for, like, an hour and a half. maybe i just didn't want to get sucked into all the hype surrounding wicked, but now i totally get it!!! screw it, wicked is awesome. soon i'll be singing "defying gravity" at a karaoke bar near you!

so excited i could puke

I've been doing musicals non-stop since january, and for the first time i will get some experience behind the scenes. centerstage players is putting on the rocky horror show this october. i'm in charge of make-up and i'll be the stage manager. yee-haw!!! i'll get a chance to learn how to do some other stuff, like programming light cues and how to use their sound board. we had our "script preview" for rocky last night. you come, meet the production staff, ask questions, and get PSYCHED for the show. our director michael had sketches of the set design, the costumers had some samples, and i had sketches of my make-up ideas. a new girl remarked that it looked like we had our shit together! woo hoo! auditions are this saturday, and i get to be the girl who says, "please fill out this paper work. i'm sure you'll be fine. here, puke in this." i'm soooo fuckin' jazzed about this show, but the only thing that i'm nervous about is the level of talent we'll get. i hope everyone doesn't suck. i just want this show to kick ass and sell tickets reaaaalllll bad.

backlog of happenings pt. 2

allright, so my people are actually reading this! fantastic.

you're so right, cindy. the girl playing mary lennox was not pure evil. she was just a kid who wanted to go play rather than put on a large musical in the woods. i think god has kept me from breeding because i'm not very compassionate towards kids. also, i tend to take out my frustration with mr. monkeyman on the kid. it will be interesting to see what she is like when she gets through puberty and life has beaten her down a little bit.

my apologies to the people who may read this and think, "i've already heard her bitch about this in person". this recap from the past few months is for the people out there on the internets that i don't talk to nearly as often. sadly, the secret garden fell apart after a couple well placed tantrums. in hindsight, i'm really glad because doing an outdoor show in the middle of the summer is just too hot for my fat ass. no thanks, i'll sweat when i have to take the stairs, thank you.

the good news is that now i can look back on this experience and find some positive things. it's not all horrible. first, the music in the secret garden was pretty hard and i was able to keep up pretty well. i was able to stretch my vocal range much higher than i had in a while. i have way more confidence in myself as a singer. also thanks to mr. monkeyman, i wouldn't be where i am today. he's the dude that cast me in the first place. because i've been able to do shows with centerstage players i've been able to get back something that's been missing from my life. i'll never get to be a proffesional performer, but i will always appreciate being able to make art for art's sake.

after secret garden shut down, i immediately jumped into the company's production of bye-bye birdie, taking place where theater SHOULD take place - in a gay night club. wait, first i had a god-aweful sinus infection, and THEN i jumped into the birdie cast. my non-artsy type friends here in columbus think i'm crazy, but i just can't sit still. i had a fabulous time with the whole cast of birdie and now i have a whole treasure chest of happy memories. i wish i could do every show with some of those kids!

a backlog of happenings

It's been since february since i've done any sort of blogging. since then i've had two canceled shows and one that finally came to fruition. Those of us who were in the secret garden started out with a very hopefull vision. it is after all one of the coolest musicals ever. we soon discovered that our director had bitten off way more than he can chew. our director, mr. monkeyman (i'll name him that for his ability to climb scaffolding and the like. not for large ears or any high-pitched screaming) told us his vision for the show and some of us were hooked. theater in the woods! mist! dancing ghosts! topiaries on wheels! as long as we get this music down, we'll be awesome! wow, the music is pretty challenging, i bet everyone in the cast is a great vocalist!

*tsk*... how quickly things turned icky-poo. I looked around and saw many people in the cast were not only my friends and fellow otterbein alumni but super good singers. THEN, as we rehearsed the music, i realized that a few of the people were FUCKING TONE DEAF. seriously, couldn't match pitch. maybe you can get away with this sort of thing when you have a really large chorus to work with, but we did not have that luxury. ...and other people can't carry their weight when you're trying learn EIGHT PART HARMONIES AND ROUNDS. it is my belief that mr. monkeyman made a couple casting faux paus. two tone deaf dreamers and the devil's spawn starring as mary lennox made the trinity of pain complete.

the very existance of the show was on shaky ground, but we were all like, "sometimes shows feel crazy, but we'll pull it together, right?" well, about 2 and a half weeks before showtime, there were whispers of mutiny.

more next time.

Let's try this communication thing again

OK, so, i never ever update my facebook or myspace pages.

however, it's obvious that i know too many lovely people in this world not to communicate with them. I'll try to keep a regular ole' fashioned blog updated. i'll have easier access to it and everyone can come read it. darn tootin'.

things you can expect from this blog:

1. some mundane posts about daily life.

2. for those who are not used to it from me, eff-word a-plenty

3. if you're lucky, the occasional drunken post.

I'm also going to try to take on challenge made by some of my favorite bloggers: 30 blogs in 30 days!!! if it goes well i'll start to pick on my other friends that blog and shame them into doing it too. when i feel like i have nothing to write about i'll just post a link from my page in del.icio.us try to remember why i thought it was so important to save the link in the first place.

btw, this post totally counts! 29 days to go!

ps: kiss my ass i will capitalize nothing